1st November 2011,
It has been more than 6 months since my last update. Been busy with another new transition into my life. Reviewing back, it has been quite a lot of transitions and happenings since I relocated from Penang, which I've totally lost count of it. Time flies, if we don't keep track of the progress, we will just lost in time.
As the title of my blog, yeah.. another new phase with addition of new life - Joel Chin En Yi. Looking back, it has been 4 months being a fulltime mom.. I've given up my job and focus on taking care of Joel. Not easy as I thought it would be, to be totally a 'home-mother'. It was indeed great challenge for me, especially the second month when I took over the task from the confinement lady. I remember waking up at wee hours of the night just to feed Joel, and to put him back to sleep after feeding was not easy. I can still recall his widely open eyes starring at me at 1am until 4am when he finally went back to sleep after much crying. We tried many different methods trying to find the right one to establish Joel's sleeping routine. Last month he finally got familiar to last feed at 11pm and able to sleep through the night till 4-6am for another feed. I thought the nightmare is over until recently he started his weird habit again - waking up every 3 hours for feed, or for comfort??? Aarrgghhh.. I was so so tired. Light sleeper as I am, I need to learn to snap off once Joel asleep... how to sedate myself?
Discourage, broken and 'angry'.. am waving the white flag in surrender. Lord, what have I done? I need to learn to surrender the 'control' to the Lord, allowing Him to take precedence over my life. Surrendering to Him my 'feeling' of inadequacy. My prayer is that I will not lost the joy of motherhood, and that I will able to be thankful of the little things, knowing that each chapter has it's season and it's reason to shape me, and God has already blessed me so much, I should learn to praise Him rather than giving up to 'pity party'.
